Reclaiming the Holidays
Let’s face it—the holidays can feel overwhelming, packed with obligations, unrealistic expectations, and time and money pressures. Not exactly a recipe for good tidings, comfort, and joy—and probably a far cry from what you wish the season was about.
By reconnecting with what we wish the holidays were about, we can minimize the holiday hoopla and reclaim both the season and our well-being.
As with most things related to stress reduction, it starts by knowing ourselves. So in preparing for the holidays, I encourage you to think about what will make the holidays feel more relaxing, fun, meaningful, and/or successful for you. Although this doesn’t guarantee a particular outcome, it certainly increases the odds of it happening.
Follow What Brings You Joy
For instance, do you enjoy admiring the lights, playing your favorite music, sitting by the fire, drinking eggnog, or baking?
If what you love is:
food
connection
people
gift-giving
volunteering
…those things won’t happen unless you identify them and take small steps to make them possible.
Maybe that means buying eggnog, making a new holiday playlist, bringing in firewood, or planning a baking date with a friend.
By intentionally choosing what brings you joy, you make space for the kind of holiday you actually want.
Set Realistic Expectations
Another helpful step in reclaiming the holidays is tuning out the endless shoulds. Just because commercials show people joyfully throwing money around—or because Uncle Bob loves buying yachts for gifts—doesn’t mean that’s realistic or that it will make your holiday feel successful.
If taking out a second mortgage to keep up with Uncle Bob doesn’t bring joy, try focusing instead on what feels reasonable and meaningful for you.
Consider sharing your plan with others so expectations are clear. You might say:
“We’re keeping things simple this year so we can better enjoy the holidays. Instead of buying gifts, we’ve decided to ________.”
Some ideas:
Set a dollar limit for gifts
Draw names instead of buying for everyone
Make homemade gifts
Donate to a cause or adopt a family together
When your choices reflect your values—not someone else’s definition of the “perfect holiday”—you’re far more likely to feel peace and connection.
Take Care of Yourself
This also means knowing yourself and making sure you’re making time for the things that help you de-stress, relax, and refill.
So in addition to enjoying some yummy food and festivities, it’s important to take care of yourself. If you know you feel better when you are rested, exercised, or hydrated, it is your job—just like putting on your oxygen mask first—to make sure these things happen, even during the holiday season.
Think small and set yourself up for success:
Put walks or stretch breaks on your calendar
Schedule some pampering
Pack healthy snacks and your favorite water bottle
Stock up on chamomile tea
A Holiday Season That Feels Like Yours
At its best, the holiday season is about connection, gratitude, and meaning—not perfection. By knowing what matters most, setting boundaries that feel right, and caring for yourself along the way, you can reclaim a sense of calm and joy—even in the midst of the chaos.
Happy Holidays—and whatever you do, don’t forget your oxygen mask!